Rebuilding After Trauma: The Journey to Strength
This 4-phase healing program guides you through recovery after trauma or abuse. Currently in Phase 3: Grow - Rebuild Strength, we'll explore power posing, setting boundaries, claiming your worth, and breaking trauma bonds through four targeted sessions.
You are not alone on this journey. Each exercise—from practicing your "no" to creating personal sanctuaries—builds resilience. Small steps of standing tall and owning your space lead to profound healing and reclaiming your power.
Phase 3: Grow – Rebuild Strength
Standing Tall & Saying No
Master power posing techniques to physically embody confidence and practice the empowering skill of setting clear boundaries with others.
Owning Your Space
Develop daily worth-boosting practices that reinforce your inherent value and create a personal sanctuary that honors your needs.
Breaking the Pull
Build an emergency response plan and support network to maintain your strength when facing triggers that pull you back to harmful patterns.
Session 1: Standing Tall
Power Pose Practice
Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, hands firmly on hips like Wonder Woman, or raised high in a V-shape victory pose. Hold for two full minutes while breathing deeply to trigger testosterone release and cortisol reduction—the biochemical signature of confidence.
Feeling Your Physical Strength
As you maintain your pose, notice specific sensations: your spine lengthening one vertebra at a time, shoulders dropping away from ears, chest expanding with each breath, and feet grounding firmly into the floor. These physical changes mirror your emotional transformation from contracted to expansive.
Reflection: How Do I Feel Bigger Today?
In your journal, document one specific instance today where you occupied your rightful space—perhaps speaking up in a meeting, maintaining eye contact during a difficult conversation, or simply walking taller while running errands. Remember: reclaiming your physical and emotional territory is not an act of aggression but a vital step in healing your relationship with yourself.
Exercise: Power Pose
Find Your Reflection
Stand before a mirror where you can see your full posture. This visual feedback helps your brain register the physical change happening in your body.
Ground Your Strength
Plant your feet shoulder-width apart for stability. Pull your shoulders back and chest open. Place hands firmly on hips (Wonder Woman pose) or reach skyward in a victory stance for 2 full minutes.
Breathe With Purpose
Take 5 deep breaths - inhaling strength for 4 counts, holding for 2, exhaling fear for 6. Maintain eye contact with yourself, acknowledging the survivor within who deserves to stand tall.
Speak Your Truth
With your body still in power position, say aloud three times: "I am strong. I survived. I rise." Feel the cortisol levels dropping as confidence hormones activate throughout your body.
Feeling Your Physical Strength
Notice Your Heartbeat
As you hold your power pose, feel the steady rhythm in your chest that has carried you through darkness. Place your palm there and sense how it quickens slightly with your newfound confidence, pumping strength to every cell.
Honor Your Breath
With shoulders back and chest open, feel your lungs expand fully for perhaps the first time since your trauma. Each 4-count inhale and 6-count exhale reduces cortisol and awakens the biochemical signature of your resilience.
Acknowledge Your Spine
Feel each vertebra stacking one upon another as you straighten from a protective hunch into your full height. Your backbone has supported you through unimaginable challenges, and now rises to its natural strength position—one you deserve to maintain.
Reflection: How Do I Feel Bigger Today?
Physical Presence
I take up space without apology.
Emotional Strength
I honor my feelings without judgment.
Mental Clarity
I trust my perceptions and thoughts.
Spiritual Growth
I connect with my deeper purpose and worth.
The Science of Power Posing
Hormonal Impact
Research shows power poses can increase testosterone by up to 20% while decreasing cortisol (stress hormone) by 25%. These biochemical changes directly influence your confidence and resilience pathways.
Mind-Body Connection
Harvard and Columbia studies confirm that expansive postures activate your parasympathetic nervous system, reversing physical trauma responses. Your brain interprets your opened chest and raised chin as signals of safety.
Quick Benefits
Just two minutes in a power pose increases activity in your prefrontal cortex, improving decision-making and boundary-setting abilities—crucial skills for trauma survivors reclaiming their autonomy.
Daily Power Practice
Morning Power Pose
2 minutes per day
Stand tall with shoulders back, hands on hips in Wonder Woman stance while affirming: "I am strong. I survived. I rise."
Pre-Meeting Confidence Boost
1 minute per day
Take 5 deep breaths (4-count inhale, 2-count hold, 6-count exhale) while maintaining a victory stance with arms raised
Midday Reset
2 minutes per day
Place palm over heart, feel your steady rhythm, then expand your posture to full height, honoring your spine's natural strength
Evening Reflection
3 minutes per day
Hold power pose while journaling how you took up space today—physically, emotionally, and mentally—without apology
Before Difficult Conversations
2 minutes per day
Stack your vertebrae tall, open your chest, and remind yourself: "My perceptions are valid. I deserve to be heard. I own my truth."
Session 2: Saying No
Protection, Not Rejection
Your "no" is a powerful shield that protects your healing nervous system from retraumatization. When you say no to boundary violations, you're saying yes to your recovery.
Reclaiming Your Voice
Practice the "You Control You" audio exercise to strengthen the vocal muscles that may have atrophied during trauma. Start with small, safe "nos" before advancing to more challenging boundaries.
Self-Compassion Through Boundaries
Each time you feel guilty for setting a boundary, counter with: "I deserve protection. My needs matter." This rewires trauma pathways that taught you to prioritize others' comfort over your safety.
Building Boundary Confidence
Track your boundary victories in your recovery journal. Notice how each successful "no" strengthens your ability to stand tall in your power pose and reinforces your right to occupy space.
Exercise: No Practice
Say It Aloud
Practice these trauma-informed boundary statements in front of a mirror, using your power pose:
  • "No, I won't tolerate being spoken to that way."
  • "No, I don't owe you access to my time or body."
  • "No, I'm not responsible for your emotions."
  • "No, I won't compromise my healing for your comfort."
Write Your Own
Identify a specific boundary violation from your past. Write a clear "No" statement you wish you could have said then, and one you can use if similar situations arise now.
Remember: Your "no" protects the fragile parts still healing from trauma. Be specific about what you're refusing and why it matters to your recovery.
Feel The Power
As you practice, notice the physical sensations in your body. The tightness in your chest may be old fear; breathe through it. The tingling might be newfound strength emerging.
Track these sensations in your recovery journal. This discomfort is your nervous system recalibrating toward empowerment after trauma.
Strengthening Your No
Practice your "No" in front of a mirror using three postures: seated with spine straight, standing with feet shoulder-width apart, and in your power pose. Keep your voice steady, maintain eye contact with yourself, and avoid apologizing or explaining. Remember: your boundaries are not just suggestions—they are vital shields protecting your healing nervous system from retraumatization. Start with "No, that doesn't work for me" before advancing to more challenging statements like "No, I won't accept that behavior anymore."
Reflection: What's One 'No' That Sets Me Free?
Liberation from Past Patterns
Saying "No" to repeating trauma cycles creates space for healing relationships where my "Yes" can be authentic, not automatic
Protection of My Healing Journey
My "No" to emotional manipulation guards the energy I need for recovery and reinforces that my well-being is non-negotiable
Reclaiming My Agency
Each boundary I set affirms that trauma no longer dictates my choices - my "No" is the voice of my renewed self-worth
The Anatomy of a Powerful No
Clear & Direct
State your boundary without trauma-based apologies or justifications that undermine your worth.
Example: "No, I won't discuss my trauma history at social gatherings" instead of "Sorry, but maybe I'd rather not talk about it if that's okay."
Firm Body Language
Reclaim your physical presence after trauma by standing in your power pose, shoulders back, with a steady gaze.
Your nervous system registers confidence when your body projects it, countering the collapse response from past trauma.
Consistent Follow-Through
Honor your boundary even when triggered by leaving situations that violate it, rather than freezing or fawning to please others.
Practice: If someone touches you without permission, immediately step back and say, "I need you to ask before touching me" without minimizing your needs.
Session 3: Owning Your Space
Exercise: Worth Boost
Practice physically expanding in your environment while repeating affirmations that counter trauma-based beliefs about deserving less space.
Reclaiming Your Territory
Learn to set clear physical and emotional boundaries that honor your healing nervous system after trauma has taught you to shrink.
Cultivating Inner Worth
Reconnect with your pre-trauma strengths through guided visualization that helps you separate your true self from abuse-imposed limitations.
Exercise: Worth Boost
Claim Your Strengths
Write down three survival strengths you developed through trauma (e.g., resilience, perceptiveness, compassion). Stand in your power pose while reading them aloud.
5 Minutes of Expansion
Physically occupy more space than trauma taught you to take. Stretch your arms wide while affirming: "I deserve the space I occupy" to counter the nervous system's conditioned collapse.
Voice Your Worth
Record yourself declaring: "My trauma does not define my value. I am worthy of respect and boundaries." Listen daily to rewire trauma-based unworthiness beliefs.
Reflection: Why Do I Deserve To Stand In My Worth?
Inherent Value
Your worth isn't earned—it's your birthright. You deserve dignity simply because you exist.
Unique Contribution
The world needs your specific voice, perspective, and presence. No one else can offer what you can.
Future Impact
Your healing creates ripples that extend beyond you, potentially helping others find their strength.
The Inner Worth Garden
Self-Compassion
Showing yourself the kindness you'd give a friend.
Self-Care
Actions that nurture your mind, body, and spirit.
Positive Self-Talk
Encouraging internal dialogue you practice daily.
Boundaries
Protecting your energy and well-being consistently.
Creating Your Sanctuary
Designate physical spaces that help reclaim your sense of safety after trauma. Your sanctuary might be a corner with a weighted blanket and lavender scent to ground your nervous system, a meditation area where you practice daily affirmations, a reading nook filled with empowering books, or even an outdoor bench where you reconnect with nature's rhythm. These safe environments allow you to practice expanding into your rightful space without hypervigilance, reinforcing the worth work we've been doing.
Session 4: Breaking the Pull
Recognize and resist the specific forces that draw you back to harmful relationships after establishing boundaries.
Exercise: Barrier Block
Step 1: Name The Bait
Identify the specific emotional pulls that draw you back toward unhealthy relationships after trauma.
  • "He says he's changed and sends thoughtful gifts to prove it"
  • "She claims she'll be completely alone if I don't come back"
  • "I keep remembering our vacation and how he held me when I cried"
Step 2: Create Your Counter
Develop strong, specific responses that honor your worth and safety.
  • "I trust patterns of behavior, not temporary changes or gifts"
  • "Her emotional well-being is not my responsibility to sacrifice myself for"
  • "I remember both the comfort AND the fear I lived with daily"
When the emotional pull feels strongest, practice these counters aloud while standing in your power pose. This combines your physical and verbal strength to reinforce your boundaries.
Reflection: How Will I Stay Strong When The Pull Comes?
Phone A Friend
Create a designated "pull alert" text group with 2-3 trusted friends who understand your trauma history. Schedule weekly check-ins during the first month of separation when the trauma bond is strongest.
Review Your Truth
Maintain a "reality check" journal documenting specific harmful incidents ("He threatened to leave me when I was sick," "She isolated me from my sister"). Read it immediately when sweet memories surface.
Implement Waiting Periods
Set a firm 24-hour "no response" rule for all contact attempts. Draft responses but save them to review after sleeping. Use timer apps to enforce this boundary when emotional pulls peak.
Practice Intensive Self-Care
Create an "emotional emergency kit" with comfort items, power pose instructions, and barrier statements. When loneliness intensifies, immediately engage in physical activity that releases endorphins to counter withdrawal symptoms.
Building Your Support Network
Creating a strategic support system is crucial when breaking trauma bonds and resisting the emotional pull back to harmful relationships.
Support Groups
Join trauma-specific groups where members understand the intensity of trauma bonds and can validate your experience when you doubt your decision to leave. Schedule weekly meetings during high-risk periods like holidays or anniversaries.
Professional Guidance
Work with trauma-informed therapists who specialize in relationship trauma and can teach you specific grounding techniques for moments when the "pull" feels overwhelming. Create a crisis response plan with clear steps for emotional emergencies.
Trusted Friends
Identify 2-3 friends for your "pull alert" system who can be available for immediate support when you feel tempted to reconnect with your abuser. Give them specific phrases that help reinforce your barrier blocks and counter statements.
Community Resources
Connect with local domestic violence organizations that offer 24-hour crisis lines, emergency housing options, and legal advocacy when the trauma bond creates a sense of panic or desperation about navigating life independently.
Emergency Response Plan
Recognize Triggers
Document specific situations that intensify the trauma bond pull, such as conflict with family members, financial stress, or anniversary dates of significant relationship events. Use your reality check journal to identify recurring vulnerability patterns.
Create Safety Protocols
Establish a 3-step intervention process: first implement the 24-hour no-contact rule, then engage in physical activity for 15 minutes to counter withdrawal symptoms, and finally review your documented evidence of harmful behaviors from your reality check journal.
Activate Support
Alert your designated "pull alert" support team by texting the code word "Barrier" to trigger immediate intervention. Have your therapist's emergency contact information readily accessible and schedule an emergency session within 24 hours of experiencing intense emotional pull.
Practice Self-Compassion
Implement the "healing parent" technique by speaking to yourself as you would a child in pain. Acknowledge that trauma bond withdrawal creates real physical symptoms and use your "emotional emergency kit" with comfort items when setbacks occur instead of falling into shame spirals.
Closing Thought: Owning Your Space
Your "No" Is Freedom
Each "no" to toxic relationships creates room for healthy connections. When you decline contact with those who harmed you, you open doors to genuine healing and self-respect. This boundary becomes your pathway to freedom.
Your Voice Is Your Shield
Your power statements and barrier blocks protect you when the emotional pull intensifies. Using your voice to express needs and limits creates an invisible armor against manipulation and gaslighting. This shield grows stronger with each truth you speak.
Your Growth Is Your Victory
The power poses, boundary practices, and worth exercises you've learned aren't just techniques—they're evidence of your resilience. Your commitment to rebuilding after trauma demonstrates courage that transcends your past wounds and defines your future strength.